Die Simpsons! Die!

I can’t take it anymore. Will Matt Groening quit prostituting his creation and end this show already? Watching one of my all-time favorite shows slowly devolve into this soup of mediocrity is too much to bear.

I practically worshipped the Simpsons throughout high school and into the beginning of college, but somewhere around season 13, it stopped being funny to me.  The plot lines were replaced with a loosely structured succession of zany antics. I found myself wincing instead of laughing. It’s painful to watch some of these well crafted characters be reduced to the absurdist caricatures that they are now.

Anyway, I found myself bored on a Sunday and flipped on Fox to see if maybe the show was as bad as I remembered. Well, I was treated to yet another history rewrite of Marge and Homer’s relationship. In it we are introduced to Marge’s professor: an ivory tower liberal stereotype, who pushes his message of the exploitation of minorities and women by white men to the point of absurdity. After almost 8 years of GOP rule by a man who burns out his neurons trying to string a simple sentence together, is it really necessary to continue painting liberal college professors in such a ridiculous light?

Anyway, my political leanings aside…this show is unrecognizable to me. Every now and then I catch an old episode, and remember exactly how funny this show used to be. Unfortunately, it makes seeing what this show has become even more unbearable.  Random celebrity guest star ass-kissed by the Simpson family in each episode?  Check.  Homer constantly forgetting what random shit is?  Check.   The jokes are now WAY, WAY too easy. Homer’s stupidity has reached epic proportions and watching this show now makes my eyes water.

So I plead with you Matt Groening. For the sake of artistic integrity, end this show. And for my sake, tell me that you have been locked in a basement the past 7 years and that Fox has been creating these episodes without your consent.  Tell me that the old writing staff is not responsible in any part for these abominations and that they were written by a staff comprised of marketing execs on LSD. Tell me that you will burn seasons 14 on, and that we will never speak of them again.  If you can’t do these things, at least promise me that you’ll let us keep Futurama, unmolested.  Please?

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