I have walked with the dead.
A horror collectible store in Berwyn named Horrorbles, got X amount of free tickets to hand out for “zombies” to attend the Zombieland Chicago red carpet premiere. Side note: if you’re ever in the market for anything horror related, be it zombie makeup, authentic freddy krueger gloves, giant scary clowns, etc. this is probably your one stop shop. Go buy stuff from Kryssie, she rocks. Lucky for my girlfriend and I, I knew Kryssie from high school, and she graced us with two tickets to go to the event as zombies.
So after doing a little homework on the subject, I came up with my lazy how-to guide for getting zombified.
- Get a suit from a thrift store, the more out of date the better. Don’t spend too much money
- Go drag that fucker through the mud and rough it up
- With an exacto knife or something, shred the bottom of the pants a bit so that it looks tattered, do the same with the sleeves.
- Puncture wounds and fake blood are optional.
- Be fortunate enough to have an onsite makeup crew handle your makeup for you. (I know nothing about this crap.)
That was pretty much how I got ready to go. Most people did their own makeup, and some got really creative with it. Horrorbles actually has classes on Latex and special effects makeup, so I’ll probably go for a course, since I probably won’t have a makeup team on hand the next time I think about doing this.
So we arrive, get registered, and are herded into a pen where we are to wait on makeup. People who already were in makeup basically just hung out and grabbed at passing cars and pedestrians. Eventually I get my makeup on and do my fair share of groaning and swiping at passing traffic. Eventually, it’s go time and we all line up and shamble down the red carpet while some people snap pictures. Susan and I get past the carpet, head upstairs and take our seats. Woody Harrellson comes on out before the film and says a few words. He tells us that he’s really a zombie fan deep down, and was just in character for the film. We let it slide. The movie comes on and happens to rule.
After the movie, Susan has to go home and pass out, but I head on out to the after party at Villains. Villains has a great selection of burgers, and an impressive beer list to boot, although from my past few visits I’m less than impressed with the speed and attentiveness of the bartending staff. Still its a nice place, that attracts a group of south side regulars who frequent the place and seem pretty cool. I meet people quickly enough, as I order a scotch and the two other scotch drinking zombies quickly take note of my order. I sit and talk for a while with them. The girl is a bartender there at Villains but was also out at the show, and the guy is really nice and one of the regulars there. Anyway we hang for a while, buy each other a couple beers and eventually I head on out home and bury my zombie clothes in a bag for another time.
I’ve been bitten. It can now only be a short amount of time before I lose control and stagger down the streets of Chicago in search of brains or a decent zombie pub crawl.